“The connection between food and mourning runs deep: In almost every culture or tradition, a community brings dishes to the survivors in the weeks or months after a death. But for a spouse, accustomed to sharing every meal with a partner, the grieving can go on long afterward, renewed constantly by the rhythms of shopping, cooking and eating.”
“Bereavement counselors said that only in the last decade have academics and nonprofit groups begun directly addressing the relationship between grieving and food.”
“Sitting around the table together, talking about what happened during the day: This is what many widows say they miss the most. Some eat on the couch or at restaurants. Without a spouse sitting opposite, the kitchen table can feel unbalanced, a seesaw for one.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/28/dining/widows-cooking-grief.html
“For partners who weren’t the main cook, especially older men, widowhood poses a new set of challenges. Many moved straight from their mother’s food to their spouse’s, and know only a few recipes.”
“Restaurants are hard. Church is hard. Social life is hard.”
“Taste itself can feel like a betrayal. One partner is left behind with the things of life — the smell of mushrooms sautéing in butter, a favorite chipped blue mug — while the other doesn’t get to anymore.”
Losing a loved one is often a devastating experience that could unmoor anyone. While grief is a natural part of life, some widows and widowers find themselves unable to move on from loss and need professional support to heal.
The distress of loss and bereavement often goes unspoken. Many people do not know how to discuss these painful topics, and their avoidance can leave the mourner isolated in his or her grief, compounding the suffering.
Grief Counseling with Elaine Korngold
In my private practice, I offer grief counseling to adults combining Brainspotting therapy with Internal Family Systems therapy. Processing grief and experiencing mourning with an attuned therapist can help you heal and find new ways to be in the world. Please contact me to learn more.