Are you in a neurodiverse relationship?
Are you the neurotypical partner needing an empathetic response and getting a solution instead?- Are you the Autistic partner enjoying thinking through and giving a detailed answer, and unsure of why you’re being interrupted?
- Are you the neurotypical partner wondering why your partner resists going out with you on new adventures?
- Are you the Autistic partner wondering why your partner chooses to socialize with friends in loud and bright spaces?
- Are you and your partner both feeling lonely and hopeless in the relationship?
Challenges in Neurodiverse Relationships
Navigating neurodiverse relationships can be challenging, but it is possible to make the relationship successful with understanding, flexibility, patience, and effective communication. Despite the challenges, a relationship between a neurotypical and a neurodivergent partner can bring unique strengths, perspectives, and rewards.
Working with a couple’s therapist trained and experienced in working specifically with neurodiverse relationships, can help couples develop a much better understanding of each other’s needs and improve communication. This can lead to deeper relational satisfaction and future happiness.
Neurological Lens on Differences
Neurodiverse relationships face unique challenges related to differences in communication styles, sensory processing, and social interaction, among other factors.
While the issues in neurodiverse relationships may look the same as in neurotypical relationships, they need to be approached differently and interpreted through a neurological lens. Neurodiverse couples experience, see, and understand the world differently from each other, often without realizing it. It’s almost as if they are speaking different languages – using the same alphabet and the same words, but meaning different things.
The Impact of Autism on the Couple
Some couples are aware of their own neurodiversity, but others struggle, not understanding or misattributing the reasons for their challenges. Neurotypical partners report explaining the dynamics of their marriages to family and friends, and getting met with blank stares, with people having no clue on how to respond. Working with a counselor trained in treating neurodiverse couples can be transformational in understanding unique ways of Autism Level 1 (formerly known as Asperger’s) communication styles and practicing changes for both partners that reduce negative impacts and increase overall satisfaction.
Working Neurodiverse Marriages
Grace Myhill, the Director of AANE’s Neurodiverse Couples Institute, describes what makes neurodiverse relationship work: “The most successful neurodiverse relationships are the ones where the needs and expectations are well matched. Sometimes when both partners are on the spectrum, there may be a deeper understanding if they share the same interests and have similar needs. When there is a neurotypical partner and an Autistic partner, there can be a recognition of their neurological differences and a genuine willingness to accommodate each other. They may also have different needs they can coordinate, such as one partner’s need for social time with a group of friends, which can be scheduled to coincide with the other partner’s need for solitude.”
Neurodiverse Couples Counseling with Elaine Korngold
Please contact me if you would like to experience growth and positive changes in your neurodiverse relationship. I am certified in ADHD and Autism counseling and I am trained to assess and diagnose adults with ADHD or Autism Level 1 (formerly known as Asperger’s) or both. I completed training from AANE’s Neurodiverse Couples Institute on Neurodiverse Couples Institute on how to work with neurodiverse couples in therapy. My practice aims to accommodate and affirm neurodiversity – my appointments are consistent and predictable, all fees are transparent and posted on my website, my communication style is direct and clear as a result of engaging with multilingual family members and having a previous IT career translating product needs. If there are no phone consultation appointments available, please email me and let me know what you are looking for. I hope to hear from you soon.