Each year, hundreds of thousands of couples go into counseling in an effort to resolve relationship problems and save their marriages. But does marital therapy work? Not nearly as well as it should, researchers say. Two years after ending counseling, studies find, 25 percent of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years, up to 38 percent are divorced.
“Couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy with their relationship before getting help,” said Dr. John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle. “We help the very distressed couples less than the moderately distressed couples.”
Some studies indicate that couples who take marriage education classes have a lower divorce rate than couples who do not take the classes.
But Dr. Gottman, who uses marriage education workshops and couples therapy, has found that workshops alone are insufficient for 20 percent to 30 percent of couples in his research. These couples have problems — like a history of infidelity or depression — that can be addressed only in therapy, he said.
Here is an interesting article summarizing different perspectives on the success of couples counseling – https://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/psychology/married-with-problems-therapy-may-not-help.html
Couples Counseling with Elaine Korngold
Marriage and couples counseling can help couples to reconnect, improve their communication and rebuild trust. My clients include monogamous straight and gay couples, new and newly engaged couples, those in long term relationships, neurodiverse couples, and couples in crisis. Couples get help in breaking down barriers, so that each person can see the other’s viewpoint. We also address difficulties such as long standing areas of conflict, infidelity, divorce, or additional challenges caused by illnesses or addiction.
The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to solve relationship problems, disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. Gottman Method Couples Therapy is evidence-based for same sex couples based on a recent, first of its kind, outcome study, demonstrating twice as much improvement with nearly half the number of sessions that is typical for heterosexual couples. Please reach out to request a free 20-minute phone consultation to learn more.